KOH2RVA: Day 174

farm_workIt’s 5:39 on a Saturday morning, and I’m up having coffee and wondering why.

I woke up at 5:13 with these words in my head: “There is inner work, and there is outer work, and both are required for the life of the Kingdom.” A little later the next line came to me: “And there is inner rest, and there is outer rest, and both are equally necessary.”

I don’t think I’ve ever read or heard those lines before, but they struck me as true in the way Scripture is true, and since waking up I’ve been reflecting on them. Don’t expect too much. It’s only 5:44. But here’s what I’ve got so far:

There is a rhythm of work and rest that is both good and necessary. You get up in the morning groaning because you have to go to work, but you look at the clock late in the afternoon and grin because you get to go home. If it were all work and no rest you would soon die of exhaustion. If it were all rest and no work you would soon die of boredom.

In the life of the Kingdom, there also seems to be a rhythm of inner work and outer work that is both good and necessary. Since September 9, 2012, I’ve been busy trying to bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Richmond, Virginia. But I’ve also been learning that if that outer work is not balanced with inner work I can easily forget why I’m doing what I’m doing. I can become a tireless “doer of good deeds” without coming one step closer to the Kingdom. So I need to take time to pray, to read, to think, to listen, and to learn.

But the rhythm of rest and work also applies to the inner and outer life. In the same way my body can become worn out by work my heart, mind, and soul can become worn out. I need to have hours and sometimes even days at a time when I am not working to develop my inner life but simply resting in the grace of God. I need to give myself permission to go for a long walk in the woods, or watch an old movie on television, without feeling I have let go of the rope on which the Kingdom will come.

Today is not one of those days. I’ve got a whole sermon to write before this day is over. But the coffee is good and hot and strong and I’m feeling energized for the work ahead. I’m grinning, not groaning, but it’s partly because on Thursday I took the time I needed to rest. I gave not only my body the day off, I also gave my heart and soul and mind a break. Maybe that’s why I’m waking up this morning with fresh thoughts bubbling up inside my brain: maybe it’s rested and ready for what comes next, just as my heart and soul and strength are rested.

And maybe this is how life in the Kingdom is supposed to be.


The Cure for Boredom

When I was a boy I attended West Virginia public schools, and although I had some excellent teachers the schools themselves left something to be desired.  I remember the kind of excitement that would begin building in the spring of each year as we anticipated summer vacation and our release from the stuffy confines of the classroom, from the tedium of bending over our desks, working math problems on lined notebook paper with Number 2 pencils as a single wasp buzzed in through the open windows and bumped up against the high ceiling of the room.  On the last day of school we watched the clock on the wall as if our lives depended on it, and in a way they did—the quality of our lives, at least.  The closer we got to 3:15 the slower that minute hand moved.  Even the big, red second hand seemed to slow down until it was dragging around the face of the clock like a stick through the mud. 

But then it happened: the buzzer sounded and we whooped and threw our notebooks in the air and off we went, tumbling out the front door and down the steps and to the waiting school buses where we sang in unison that great old hymn,

School’s out, school’s out,
Teacher let the monkeys out
One went east and one went west
And one went up the teacher’s dress!

It was magical, that ride home on the bus.  The windows were down and the warm breezes were blowing in and we were in the best mood possible, laughing and singing and shoving each other—absolutely intoxicated by the freedom we felt.  The only thing better was waking up the next morning and realizing that it was the first day of summer vacation.  My brothers and I—five of us at the time—would toss back the bedsheets, put on our shorts and T-shirts, and run barefoot into the back yard, ready to spend the day in glorious, useless, endless play.

Those feelings lasted until sometime in the middle of the afternoon, usually, and—although we could hardly believe it—by then we had already done most of the things we had been dreaming of those last few weeks of school.  That long list of things!  Knocked out in a few hours’ time.  Unbelievable.  We tried to hide the fact from ourselves.  We pretended that we were still having fun.  But even more we tried to hide the fact from our parents, because once somebody let it slip, once one of my little brothers let out even the tiniest, whispered, “I’m bored!” in their presence—well, that did it.  The next morning at 7:30 my mother would crank up the record player and put on an album called “America’s Favorite Marches.”  Lying there in our beds we could hear the scratch of the needle as it fell and hear the hiss of the speakers even before a John Philip Sousa composition came blasting out of 76 trombones like cannonballs, rocketing up the stairs, and bouncing around our room at something just above 100 decibels.

That was our cue—subtle as it was—to get up, get out of bed, and come downstairs for breakfast.  Mom would have cooked bacon and eggs, biscuits and grits, and we would all sit around the table rubbing our sleepy eyes and washing down our breakfast with glasses of orange juice and ice cold milk.  And then, just before eight, as someone was reaching for the last biscuit, Dad would hand out the work assignments for the day.  And with the exception of Saturday and Sunday this is how it would be every day for the rest of the summer.  This was my parents’ cure for boredom.

We would work in teams of two or three from eight until noon.  We would hoe corn, clear brush, muck out the horses’ stalls, stretch barbed wire fencing, and the sweat would run down in rivers, and we would start dreaming about what we were going to do as soon as noontime came, and the work was over.  We talked about it.  We made plans as we worked.  But the first thing we always wanted to do on those hot days—even before we ate lunch—was to go down to the river, to splash out into that cool, clear water, to dive headfirst under the surface, roll slowly over onto our backs, and come up spouting like whales.  Oh, freedom!  Oh, perfect, precious, delicious freedom! 

Sometimes you don’t appreciate what you have until you have to do without it.