KOH2RVA: Day 234

black eyeYesterday’s post generated lots of discussion, and a number of important lessons:

The topic of homosexuality is red-hot. There were 1,588 views on my blog yesterday, the second highest number since I’ve been writing. It wasn’t because the post was so well written; it was because I was writing about homosexuality. I discovered once again that everybody has an opinion on this topic, and the opinions tend to be strong.

Never assign motives to another person. I did that yesterday. I said that I was trying to imagine why 15 churches were thinking about pulling out of the Richmond Baptist Association and the only reason I could come up with was fear. One of the people who commented on my blog wisely pointed out that I could have asked someone from those churches, rather than making up motives. She was right, and I apologize.

Fear is not the only factor. When I did talk to someone from one of those churches yesterday I was assured that there were several reasons a church might consider such a move. Identity was one of them: you might get to a point where—without any animosity—you simply sensed that “these just aren’t our kind of people” anymore. Fidelity was another: where, in order to be faithful to your understanding of Scripture, you might choose to distance yourself from those with a different understanding.

People can disagree respectfully. Although there were a number of different views expressed in the comments on my blog yesterday, they were expressed with courtesy, and even with Christian love. I especially appreciated the one that began by addressing a fellow commentator: “I love you. You’re my sister in Christ.” While opinions were strong, they were never used as weapons.

It’s easy to be distracted. I have to admit, I spent a good bit of time yesterday checking my blog, reading the comments, answering email, talking on the phone, meeting with people who had questions or concerns, and in all of that, I’m sure I neglected much of the other work of the Kingdom. At the end of the day I went to RVA United, in the sanctuary of First Baptist Church, where a group of young, committed Christians had been working for days to create an incomparable worship experience for 20-30somethings in our city. They weren’t distracted. They were focused. And it showed.

You would think that by now I would have learned all of life’s important lessons, but I haven’t. There’s still plenty to learn. And yesterday I learned some things.

I hope you did, too.

Disagreeing Without Being Disagreeable

standaloneSome of my recent posts have generated concerns that I’m getting “too political” on this blog, that my criticism of talk radio is an attack on the political views of those who listen to talk radio.  Not so.  As I said in a subsequent comment, “the vitriol doesn’t only come from one side. You can balance the ranting and raving of talk radio with some of the smug, holier-than-thou comments that come from the liberal elite.”  My concern here is not with politics, but with the level and tone of our public discourse.  We don’t seem to be able to talk to each other these days without yelling at each other. 

And so I was pleased to see this good example, forwarded by a reader.  Chuck Colson was asked by a young mother shortly before the start of the new school year how she could help her children understand that she does not support the President’s policies.  I’ll let you read the question and Chuck’s answer for yourself, but please notice how he turns down the intensity of the question, how he moves from generalities to specifics, and how he helps this woman voice her real concerns without disrespecting the office of the president.   While Colson’s own views are conservative and Christian, I think he sets an example here the whole country could learn from.

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My question relates to parenting Christian children who attend public schools. Specifically, I want to know how to help my children understand that I do not support the current President’s policies and values, as many of them are not biblical. I am furthermore concerned about his September 8th address to a captive public school audience. What kind of conversation do I have with them if they are in attendance at school the day that so much solitary focus is given to the President’s agenda?  —Jennifer Pixley

From Chuck Colson:

Good question, Jennifer. I have two words for you: honesty and respect. First, you need to be honest with your kids about your opinions of some of the President’s policies. But I would recommend that you don’t paint with broad strokes. Be specific. Tell them which policies you disagree with, and why.

For example, you may want to tell them why you don’t support the president’s policies on abortion, because we know that every child—even in the womb—is precious to God and created in His image.

But respect is also important. You may wisely criticize the policy, but it does no good to disparage the man who is the elected leader of our country. In fact, encourage your kids to pray for the President (as I do every day)—that he would be filled with God’s wisdom. It’s the right thing to do, and it will show your children that even though you disagree with (perhaps many of) his policies, as a good citizen, you respect the office of the President.

By the way, if the President talks to the students about the importance of education—as the White House says he will—it could be very positive. But whatever he says, use this as a teaching opportunity to discuss the President’s speech with your kids. Tell them the things you approve of or things that you don’t approve of. You need to be very balanced with them.

Chuck Colson